Mindset Changes For Moms that will help you love the life you’re living. From a former overwhelmed and anxiety-driven mom.
Mindset Changes For Moms
When it comes to talking about mindset many people seem to avoid the conversation.
Not me, well I should say that’s not me anymore.
Mindset is something I’ve practiced on and off for years.
I began setting boundaries and made changes in my life that weren’t accepted by everyone around me.
The worse part is that I allowed myself to fall back into my bad habits, negative feelings, and overwhelmed emotions.
Which then, of course, turns into anxiety and depression.
Just because others did not like me setting boundaries or allowing myself to come first.
You see, when others begin to see a shift in your mindset they begin to notice you no longer have those negative qualities they see in themselves.
Even if they don’t realize it.
But moms, if we truly want to live a fully abundant life with less stress, overwhelm, and anxiety I’m telling you it’s all about changing our mindset.
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What Mindset Is
Mindset is an attitude, belief, or thoughts held by someone or ourselves.
When I think of mindset I think of all the story’s, beliefs and thoughts that make up my mental attitude. Whether they are true or not.
It’s how people interpret situations and create habits that become apart of their lives.
In my mind, they are truth, and my emotions drive them to become even more real. Even if they are not.
For example, have you ever been out at the park with your kids and you see the “perfect” mom who looks like she’s got it all together?
Then you think “Oh, my goodness. That mom must think I’m a mess.” or even worse “Oh, my goodness. That mom looks put together I wonder if she spends much time with her kids. Poor thing.”
In reality, you have no idea what the other mom is going through or who she is.
She could be the CEO of her own company who makes up her own hours, but just came out of a meeting or guess what…
Hold on, this is going to be a doozy!
That is your mindset talking! There I said it!
Or maybe, just maybe, this mom who is put together and is spending time with her kids knows how to practice self-care and boundaries!
Moms I hate to be the one to tell you this, but we can take care of our families, look put together, have boundaries in place, and still take care of our self-worth.
It’s all about the mindset we have in what we are doing, how we are living, and that includes motherhood.
Which is exactly why I believe that by changing the way we think about our life, ourselves, and our surroundings can only bring forth happiness.
These are the top 4 ways that I believe mothers tend to self-sabotage themselves when it comes to their happiness.
I know, because I’ve done it and still catch myself doing, but if we can change the way we think about these 4 specific mindset lies, then there is no stopping us in having the most fulfilling motherhood possible.
Note: I believe that there are many more mindset beliefs, but these are the main 4 that has made a huge impact on my life.
The Way You Think Will Shape Your Life
Thoughts have power!
Do you know how they say you are what you eat? Well, this also applies to you are what you think.
If we are constantly telling ourselves how bad of a mom we are, or how dumb we are for making a mistake, or how we’re the worse wife in the world, then you are going to start believing those lies.
Yes! They are lies! Because contrary to what many of us believe in ourselves, we are AMAZING! YOU ARE AMAZING!
Instead, change that negative thought to something like “I’m an amazing mom. I made a mistake and I will learn to do better next time.”
It’s about changing the way we think and talk to ourselves.
A little bit of grace can go a long way!
Stop Taking Things Personally
Believe me when I say that our children do not do things to make us angry or upset, so stop taking things personally mama.
I get it, you’ve repeated yourself a million times (well maybe not that much, but sure feels like it) and you’re kids are still not listening or doing their chores as you asked them.
Sometimes kids and even our husbands just simply forget.
Just don’t think that it was done on purpose just to spite you. I doubt that’s the truth in the story (remember that’s one of those pesky lies we tell ourselves).
It’s easier to be a martyr or assume things, just because it’s easier. As if our children or loved ones would want to hurt us on purpose.
Plus, when we know our self worth we tend to not take things as personally anymore. So dive deeper into that.
Instead, think through the situation and write out your feelings in your journal. More ideas to help with this below.
Let Go Of Control
Letting go of control as a mom and wife is something that I’ve struggled with for a long time.
Actually, I’ve struggled with it since I was a young girl and it’s something I have to work on every single day.
Control comes from a fear-based, which most times, later on, turns into anxiety.
Thinking that no one can do things the way you do is going to not only make you an anxious person but very stressed and overwhelmed as well.
Instead, teach your children and even your spouse or partner to wash the dishes, empty the dishwasher, unload the groceries from the car, and do the laundry.
You would be surprised how much everyone in your home is willing to pitch in with the chores if you would only give them a chance to do so.
Okay, so maybe things won’t get done exactly the way you would have wanted it. But they are done! Now, that’s one less thing on your mom list!
And honestly, what’s the worse that could happen? Your 8-year-old puts the cereal box in with the pasta? Hey, at least it’s put away!
You’ve just gained a few extra minutes to go finish that book you have been dying to read or watch “Fuller House” on Netflix!
Perfectionism, It Doesn’t Exist
Pssst… Hey mama! I’m going to let in on a little secret I recently learned myself.
Perfectionism? It Doesn’t Exist!
Say it with me! Perfectionism doesn’t exist.
It’s okay that sometimes the house is a mess.
Cereal for dinner? Why not? My girls love it when I serve cereal for dinner even though in my head I’m telling myself that I should be cooking a four-course meal! (Like they would actually care about that)
As moms, we have this perception of how life should be, instead of how we should be living our life.
Instead of striving for perfection, why not strive for a simple set of routines that work in your home and with your life. Not the other way around.
This will not only help you stay grounded, but it will allow family members to feel like they are contributing.
How To Change Your Mindset As A Mom
The best apart of changing your mindset is that you can start right now.
There’s no need to wait until Monday or when you have “time”.
Mindset is a practice. It becomes a way of life.
This is not a magic pill that you will do once and you’re done, but I promise that when you finally change the way you perceive things and change the way your mind thinks life changes too.
I know this because it’s happening to me.
Here are some ways to shift your mindset:
- Learn how to meditate daily or have quiet time to yourself.
- Write down your feelings, thoughts, ambitions, dreams, things you love, things that bother you, when you’re happy, or when you’re upset in a journal.
- Be a grateful person. Practice gratitude by saying or writing down 3 things you are grateful for as soon as you wake up and before you go to bed. This is a huge one!
- Listen to positive and inspirational podcasts about motherhood.
- Practice self-care daily and I don’t mean go get your nails or hair done every day. I’m talking about going for a walk on your own, taking a nice hot shower with no kids outside your door, or just read a book for 15 minutes.
- Write down or say 3 positive affirmations every morning (I am an amazing mom, I will do my best today and that will be enough, I am happy)
Start by choosing to do 1 or 2 of the mindset shift ideas above.
Remember, it’s not a race. You’re learning to add new activities to your daily routine that will allow you to become a more fulfilling mom.
List Of Resources I Love
Because I know how hard it is to figure out where to start, here is a list of some of my favorite books I’ve found on Amazon that have really helped me with my mindset change.
While you’re there, get yourself a nice journal or two to write your thoughts in.
Mindset On The Go
I know life can get busy, believe me! I practically live at our dance studio! So, having a list of favorite podcasts is a great way to get intentional and motivated on taking the next step.
If you have an iPhone go into your podcast app and search for words like motherhood or mindset.
Scroll through and check some of them out. You will be surprised at how amazing and inspirational they are.
If you prefer to listen to books then I highly suggest the Audible membership. This is how I listen to my books while running errands or sitting in the car line.
I’m also working on a list to share of my favorite inspirational motherhood podcasts. If you have a favorite share them below or email me at email@example.com. I would love to share them too!
I do hope that you read this with an open heart for yourself and know that it’s written with no judgment.
In fact, these mindset changes are reminders for myself as well. I fall off the wagon daily and know that I need to give myself grace.
I still have a long way to go, but it’s a practice, no a sprint.
We aren’t perfect, but we sure can change the way we think about ourselves and our amazing life.
Will you be practicing some of these mindset changes with me mama?