No relationship is immune to an argument, and these 7 ways to diffuse a fight with your spouse will help you to make those fewer and farther between. Arguments happen for a variety of reasons, but how we handle them is more important than anything else. It is okay to disagree, but fighting is no healthy for any relationship. These tips will help you to diffuse a fight and be able to communicate with your spouse effectively.
7 Ways To Diffuse A Fight With Your Spouse
I share a lot of parenting and homeschooling tips here on ABC Creative Learning, but my married life is just as important if not more so. Being able to have communication and a healthy relationship with my husband is a priority!
Ask for a break to gather your thoughts: This is something I tend to do. When you see things escalating, step up and ask for a break. Ask if you can take few minutes to stop and gather your thoughts so you can communicate better. This could mean taking a few minutes to go to the bathroom, wash your face, take a few deep breaths and come back to the conversation. For some people it may mean you need a few hours to cool off and be able to talk things out. The key is to recognize when things are getting a bit over the top and walk away before you say something you will regret.
Use a fight stick: This sounds silly, but it can work great for many people. A, “fight stick” is a token that you pass back and forth when having an argument so each person gets their turn to speak. Whoever is holding the stick has the floor, and the other person can’t speak unless directly asked a question. This gives each party a chance to air their feelings without being interrupted. It often helps so everyone feels they have had their time to speak, and forces both parties to stop and listen.
Be quiet and listen: This is the best way to diffuse a fight with your spouse. Be quiet and listen so you make sure you know what is really the problem. Many fights begin with something small, but the root of the frustration is vastly different. When you are quiet and listen to what the other party is saying, you learn more about what is causing their frustrations. This makes it easier to avoid conflict in the future, as well as diffuse a fight in the moment.
Get away from the scene of the crime: Arguments that happen over something in your home are hard to get past when you are surrounded by the things that frustrated you both in the first place. Sometimes you just need to get outside and take a walk, or drive to a different location so you can sit down and talk calmly.
Hug it out: Sometimes physical affection is truly what you need to get past an argument. Stop and hug your spouse, give them a kiss or even ask for a hug yourself. Sometimes just realizing that no matter what the argument is, you love each other and want things to work can help. A little hug and, “I love you even if I am angry” can seriously help diffuse an argument.
Get humorous: One thing that works with many couples is for the argument to be diffused with a joke. If you’ve been on social media you may have seen a meme that says you should put a cape on and pretend to be a super hero to make them laugh and stop a fight. While it seems silly, it is definitely something hat can work great to refocus. Crack a joke, make silly faces, or yes put a cape on and parade around like a super hero.
Apologize first: Apologizing in a fight doesn’t mean you relent on your opinion about the argument. It simply means you realize how you are acting isn’t the most productive way to deal with the situation. Sometimes you just need to apologize for arguing in a rude way, or even apologize for not communicating in the best way.
When you are trying to diffuse a fight with your spouse, these tips are a great place to begin.
How do you diffuse a right with your spouse or loved one? I would love to know!