Yesterday I came across another bloggers post about choosing a word for the year instead of a New Years Resolution. Well, I had already decided I was going to make a list of goals for the year instead, but when I saw her post it make me think about the things I wanted to change in 2014 and the kind of person I want to be by the end of this year. So, I decided to do a quick blog post about My One Word this year!
At first when you look at the word Control it can seem as a negative word, at least I think so, but the way I intend to use this word is actually the opposite. I'm the kind of person that tends to control situations, feelings, and behaviors. I don't mean it in a negative way, but when things do not turn out the way I envisioned or imagined I tend to shut down.
As some of you know I have been an entrepreneur for about 7 years now. I owned an educational toy store, which then became a children's clothing boutique. I ran this company with all of my love, attention, and devotion. So much that I saw other things slipping away, like friendships, family, and even my own husband and children. I decided that the more I controlled the situation or organized myself it would all fall into place. Well, I honestly don't think that's the road the Lord wanted me to take, because no matter how much I tried to make it work, I just kept coming to a dead end. Even as I allowed family members to become apart of it, things just became worse. That's when I finally prayed about it and the answer was right in front of me. Now wasn't the time.
This was definitely the best decision my husband and I made in 2013. Our relationship grew stronger and my girls were so happy to finally have me, all of me! Some, didn't understand and discouraged me to do so, but at the end it was our decision. After this decision I even lost family members, but MY family (husband & children) comes first. Hopefully one day they will understand my decision, but again I'm not in control.
I need to learn to have faith on the path that I have in front of me, instead of building the one I think I should have. I need to let go of controlling on how our life is “suppose” to look like and be, instead I'm gratefully embracing all I have and letting life happen.
I've also had friendships and family members slip away. Why? Well that's a good question. I always thought as myself as a good friend, daughter, and sister. Not perfect, but if needed I would drop everything for them. When the same respect and love would not be returned. I cannot control the way people care, love, appreciate, or respect me. All I can do is try my best and hope for the best. I've always believed things happen for a reason. So here I am letting go of control.
I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I'm sure going to try!
What is your One Word for 2014?